A Short Story
The 27ths of November 1984, 1986, and 1987
I never would have guessed they would be connected.
At a recent dinner party with a wonderful group of six other couples, someone initiated a fun activity wherein we needed to say something nice about the person to our right. That’s not a hard thing to do with this group, regardless of who might be sitting next to you. To my right was Kari. I said something along the lines of not being able to imagine a better partner in life. It reminded me of an approaching date and how I got here.
When I checked, I realized it started forty years ago today, November 27, 1984. It ultimately changed my life in ways I never imagined at the time. It wasn’t even a thought, just a date on the calendar for a meeting at a place I never had a reason to be until that day; and never had an inkling that November 27 would be a repeating special calendar day until much later after glancing at some old paper wall calendars. (Hopefully no one tries to diagram that last sentence. Just absorb it.)
November 27, 1984
Leading up to 1984, there was an annual and mostly friendly charity game of football called the Pig Bowl between the friendly Fresno Deputy Sheriffs and those fiendish Fresno Police Officers. It was traditionally held on the single “football-less” weekend in January that was between the NFL/AFL playoffs and the Super Bowl.
Local Fresno area football stadiums weren’t plentiful in the mid 1980s. There were only four football stadiums in the Fresno/Clovis area; McLane High School, Clovis High School, Fresno City College, and Fresno State’s Bulldog Stadium that had been completed just four years earlier and had already hosted its first of two California Bowls in 1981.
The first Pig Bowl was held at McLane High School. We couldn’t use the high school stadiums anymore because alcohol sales and consumption are prohibited on a high school campus. The beer folks were a huge sponsor. That left only two options, going back to Fresno City College where previous games had been played or Fresno State’s Bulldog Stadium.
The event takes months of planning by a combined committee not to mention practice time for the players. Locations and available dates needed to be selected for the game and practices, insurance coverage obtained, liquor licenses, sponsorships, media and promotional coverage arranged, uniforms designed and acquired, and on and on.
Things were brewing underneath and I’m not sure I was privy to all or remember all the details. Somehow, only three months before the next anticipated Pig Bowl, I took over the reins as the next Chairman for the Fresno Deputy Sheriff’s Assn (FDSA) side of the Pig Bowl Committee. Event planning was already way behind schedule.
On November 27, 1984, I showed up at the old FPOA office near the airport to attend my first committee meeting. I walked in not knowing anyone.
I was welcomed when I arrived and led to an office occupied by the FPOA’s Business Manager, Kari Kolbert. We introduced ourselves and briefly chatted at her desk while waiting for others to show up. I was very impressed with her. I remember her professional appearance wearing a navy blue and white dress, her engaging personality, and her knowledge was impressive. The FDSA had recently gone through some issues with a former Business Manager. I found Kari to be a wonderful relief and change from what we had experienced. I don’t recall who if anyone else from the FDSA showed up for that meeting. Richard Desmond, Jim Conrad, Ron Hopper, and maybe a couple others from the FPOA arrived and were also welcoming. Work commenced.
It was reported that Fresno City College, where the last two games had been played, wouldn’t allow the next Pig Bowl into their stadium schedule because of planned maintenance. Members of both the FDSA and Fresno Police Officer’s Assn (FPOA) didn’t want to skip a year. Also, members of both departments had been watching similar events in Nor. Cal. and So. Cal. grow in size to much larger stadiums. There was significant internal pressure that Fresno’s Pig Bowl could—and should—grow too. The target location for the next game had only one remaining option, Bulldog Stadium. Fresno State wasn’t exactly receiving us with open arms. The date for a game in January also quickly slipped away.
The committee grew in size, and we regularly met usually at the FPOA, working through the seemingly insurmountable obstacles. I didn’t see or talk with Kari very often. She would occasionally and briefly pop in on committee meetings giving updates. Truth be told, I worked a lot more with television KJEO’s sports crew along with news anchor Jennifer Whitney who helped promote and then broadcast the game. I was very impressed with Jennifer too. (There’s a silly side story here for another time.) Despite earlier concerns it would be too warm for the players, we pulled off a successful event on a thankfully very cool Saturday, June 1, 1985. For me, it was the culmination of everything from November 27, 1984.
November 27, 1986
Life was happening. Jeannette and I separated for the final time and later divorced. At that time in California, after all the divorce details were dealt with and everything is signed sealed and delivered, there was a mandatory six-month waiting period before the divorce is automatically finished. Our waiting period started in May, making November 27, 1986, the day the divorce was finalized.
Coincidentally, it was Thanksgiving Day. We both probably felt that way.
November 27, 1987
Singleness had happened. Dating, relationships, and the games people play. Ugh! It was fun for a bit, then I eventually reached a point I was just through with it all. I started a protracted period where I purposely wasn’t dating anyone for the foreseeable future.
Later, during one of my regular visits to the FDSA office because I was the Editor of the FDSA Newsletter, Judy the Business Manager (who was also single) and I were lamenting how dating just sucked, and we coincidentally had sworn off dating anyone for awhile. The conversation included sharing the qualities of a partner we thought would be a great fit for each of us. I don’t recall what her wishes were, but I do mine. As I rattled them off, I added that during my time on the Pig Bowl Committee, I was really impressed with Kari at the FPOA, and although I didn’t know her well, I would love to find someone like her.
At the time, I was working swing shift patrol. A number of days later, I arrived home from work to a message on my answering machine from Judy. She told me to call her the next morning because she had “hot news” for me. When I called her, thinking it was some type of FDSA Newsletter problem or opportunity, she shared that Kari was now divorced and single. In what was probably a very rare lapse in judgement, Kari agreed to go out to lunch with me. Things progressed.
On Thanksgiving Day, November 26, 1987, Kari and I along with my parents were at my Uncle Ern and Aunt Aldine’s home in Laguna Beach. All the family there knew that in the near future, I was going to ask Kari to marry. During my introductions, I had shared that Kari was an awesome cook. In her constant New England accent, Aunt Aldine asked Kari to do the hardest part of a Thanksgiving dinner—make the gravy. To this day, I think Kari probably believes it was some type of family test. Hahahaha! (The gravy turned out phenomenal.)
The next day on the way home, yes, November 27, I stopped at a beach I knew in San Clemente and asked. She said yes.
As I mentioned earlier, it wasn’t until years later when glancing through some old wall calendars that I noticed the date connection. It unknowingly started forty years ago today. I have so much to be thankful for in my life. Mostly they are rooted in my involvement with the Pig Bowl.
*The silly side story. I like being around smart and capable people. It inspires me. When I met and worked with Jennifer Whitney, I was really fond of her—you know, in a married guy way. Just like Kari at that time, there’s nothing I would have done or even tried to pursue, date her, or whatever. That’s not my style. I was married to Jeannette, and I don’t recall what Jennifer’s relationship status was, because it wasn’t important. I was just impressed with her. Sure, she was a local news anchor and celebrity, but that wasn’t it. Would I drop by her station when I needed give the Sports crew information rather than calling in case I might see her? Absolutely. Stalker? Nope, not even close. Merely an admirer who occasionally thought, “What if life was different?” I figured, if she was single, she probably had tons of guys hitting on her anyway. I just found her to be very intelligent and she carried herself with confidence. I admired those qualities.
During the Pig Bowl game, she was on the sideline doing her broadcast stuff. By chance, truly, I was selected to stay close to her as part of a VIP/media protection scheme. I had a lot of fun talking with her during the game and helping her warmup before her on air segments (another side story here, but I won’t embarrass her, even now). She was just a kick to hang with. After the game, I bumped into her once at Fashion Fair mall or Fig Garden Village and we shared one of those quick “How ya doing?” conversations.
A month or so after Jeannette and I separated and were going through the steps of divorce, I was home at our now empty house working with a realtor to sell it. I wasn’t dating anyone, and it was the furthest thing from my mind. I had received a message to call someone back ASAP. I misdialed the number, and the voice on the answering end said, “Hello, this is Jennifer Whitney.” I had never had her direct line; I had always gone through the company main number. I froze like a teenage boy calling a girl for the first time—and then hung up. I checked the number I had written down and dialed it. It wasn’t the same number, and it wasn’t Jennifer this time. I had dialed the correct number the second time. I’ll admit, the next day I tried “misdialing” again thinking maybe fate or the Good Lord had tried to send me a hint. I never had any luck and tossed the note in the trash. Not long after, I heard through the local grapevine that she was single at the time. Frankly, at that moment in time, I recognized I would not have been a good person to date, much less have a close or developing relationship.
Late one night a couple years after Kari and I married, I was dispatched to a low priority call just blocks from our home. It was Jennifer who called in the concern. I had no idea she lived so close to us. The concern was quickly dealt with, and I doubt she even recognized me. I couldn’t stay because as I was handling the concern, another Deputy put out a request for emergency assistance (11-99). Off I went, never to talk with her again. Kari knows all this, and we occasionally chatted about Jennifer while we walked by her home during our neighborhood walks.
How does this rank as complete to meeting Presidents or growing up a few houses away and hanging with a neighbor who became super movie and TV celebrity? It’s not the same. Different orbits in life. Sometimes paths are briefly crossed, and the rest of the time you just see them from a distance and enjoy the memories.
I love how things turned out.
